April 17, 2014

Over 300 Reads!!

Also, thanks so much to everyone who got the read count over 300!!

Hannah

Post Wisdom Teeth

Hey everyone, I survived!! I would love to be able to say that I was acting like those three people from my previous post, but I can't.  Unfortunately nothing super exciting happened.  But I'll share my story for the sake of remembrance, and perhaps you can find SOMETHING funny in this.
So, here goes nothing.  And perhaps I'll post a creepy picture of me also ;)
I got up, threw on clothes that I would hardly pass for being dressed to go somewhere, but hey.  The pre-op instructions told me to wear 'loose clothes' so I wore pajamas!!  We went in, my dad was all prepared to record me acting like a freak.  They took me in, sat me down, and put on this silly oxygen nose thing.  After I was all tied down to the chair (apparently people have decided to pull the oxygen out, or just decide to go home during the procedure) and had about three or four different sensors all over me, they stuck in the IV, and started the drip.
Apparently my fingers were too cold (as always) for the oxygen sensors to work, and I wasn't breathing regularly, so they added something to help me 'relax' and I was out moments later.  I woke up hearing the doctor and the nurse talking, and even though she was very careful that I was nauseous or loopy or anything, I was ready to get up and walk around.  I had no hilarious moments.  Which, although disappointing, was a relief I think.  We 'went for a walk,' then she helped me into the car and we went home again.  But perhaps this next part will make you laugh.  I got this drop-dead GORGEOUS headband called a 'jaw bra' (which I think is the most hilarious name), and I get to wear it till tomorrow morning!! YAY!  Okay.  Picture time.


Alright, there it is.  And yes, I look crazy, but thats because I'm intentionally making a face, not because I'm drugged up.  Although one side of my face took the rest of the day to stop being numb.  And it was so weird... I could bite my lip and not feel anything on my lip, but I could feel my lip on my teeth.  I probably could have amputated my lip and not felt a thing.  Not that I would do that.  I like my lip.  Hahaha.

I watched movies for the rest of the day:  The Fox and the Hound, part of West Side Story, Doctor Who, Footloose, the Aristocats.  

I am starting to miss food though.  I really want something salty and crunchy, like some triscuits or something, but nooo... I can't eat real food for several days :(  I get to eat soft boring cold stuff like pudding, water, more pudding, ice cream, and tomato juice.  Yaaaay.. But getting to have ice cream for dinner is a dream come true.  ;)

In conclusion: wisdom teeth are overrated!
Anywho, hope you all enjoy that creepy picture of me.  And the story.  Have a great Easter Break everyone!! Enjoy your food while you can! :)

Hannah

April 16, 2014

Wisdom Teeth

Alright.  Tomorrow is the big day.  All four of my wisdom teeth are coming out.  While I'm happy to get rid of them so they won't cause me problems later on, its still a stressful thing.  I'm not sure how I'll do tomorrow, hopefully I won't freak out.  Then again, I am pretty squeamish.  What really sucks about this is the fact that its over Easter break.  I won't be able to eat the yummy food!!! I mean, I get ice cream and pudding, which is pretty legit, but I love food.  I'm going to be sad to not be able to eat real food for a while.  What I am looking forward to is how I react after the IV sedation.  I've heard a lot of funny stories about when people come out from under it, and I hope I have my own hilarious story to tell.  So, for something to look forward to, here are some of the funniest reactions to sedation after wisdom tooth surgery.  All credit goes to these three people brave enough to share their story with the world. ;)




Living

Came across a very beautiful, very deep, and very inspiring quote during lit today.  Thought I would share it with you all:
"I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.  I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary.  I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole genuine meanness of it, and publish its excursion."  ~ Walden, by Henry David Thoreau.

April 08, 2014

How to remove ink from clothing

  Anyone out there who uses fountain pens? (ME ME ME!!!) Well, if you also happen to be a klutz like I am, you've probably stained some article of clothing and have come here to find out how to get rid of it.
My stain happened when I left a pen uncapped on my desk and leaned my elbow on it, and because I had never stained anything with fountain pen ink before I kinda freaked out.  I quickly scoured the internet for how to get rid of the stain.  Here is a combination of methods that works extremely well.  And seeing as I stained a white shirt sleeve with dark blue ink and erased it completely, it works pretty darn well.

Things you will need:
  1. Stained clothing
  2. Hairspray
  3. Cotton balls or cotton pads
  4. Cardboard, paper towels, or more cotton
  5. Lukewarm water
  6. A bucket
  7. Clorox 2
  8. Tide
  9. Patience
Step 1:  Place cardboard, paper towels, or cotton underneath the layer of clothing which has been stained.  When we go to remove the stain itself, we don't want the stain to seep through into the next layer and make it even worse.
Step 2:  Spray the area with a fair amount of hairspray, and let it sit for a few moments to settle into the fabric and the stain.  The hairspray will work the same way it does on hair; it will stick to the ink on the surface of the clothing, and when we go to remove it, lots of the stain will come with it.
Step 3:  Wet some paper towels or cotton with water (lukewarm water is fine, but slightly warm water is also good).  Begin to dab at the stain.  Don't rub it.  Rubbing will generally only make the stain go further into the fibers of the fabric.  So when you dab try to lift the stain out, not across.  You will find that a lot of the ink comes out onto the paper towel/cotton, so you will have to use more paper towels or cotton.
Step 4:  Repeat steps 2 and 3 until it appears that adding more hairspray and dabbing it back out does not seem to be making any more progress.
Step 5:  Put your now less-stained clothing into the bucket (after removing the cardboard) and fill your bucket about half full with water (again, lukewarm or slightly warm).  Make sure your stain is submerged in the water, but near enough to the surface that you can still see it.  Add some Clorox 2 right over the stain, and try to rub some of it into the fabric gently.  Stir it up a just a bit in the bucket.  Now add a bit of Tide and again rub it gently into the stain and swish it around a little.
Step 6:  Leave the bucket with your clothing and water solution in it to sit somewhere safe for a couple of days.  No need to add anything more to the water, or change the water, just leave it alone and underwater for a while, and by the time you're ready to do your laundry the stain should be all gone!  I went back to check on mine after about 4 or 5 days and I could not find the stain at all.  It was gone!

Best of luck to you all, hope you found this to be helpful!

 

Trees

  Has anyone considered how odd trees are?  I mean, when I look at a tree, bare from the winter, it reminds me of a weight.  Just its shape.  If you took it out of the ground, and take away all the dirt clinging to the roots, it would look like a stick holding together two different ends of 'roots.'  The branches are the 'roots' that collect sunlight and release gases, but the bottom roots collect water and minerals.  And the middle part... well, I guess its responsible for making the tree grow taller and for multiplying cells.


I almost wonder what would happen if you planted an already grown tree upside down, so that the real roots were reaching toward the sun, and the branches were underground.  Would the tree adapt to be just another tree? Or would it be something completely different? And honestly, what is the purpose of a tree... especially in winter? They drop all of their leaves and go into stasis; so what good do they do during the winter?

If anyone considers this deeply, they too will begin to question not only the purpose and oddities of trees, but the purpose and oddity of all life.  What purpose do we really serve?

March 18, 2014

Devilish Cream Cheese

For all of you out there who just adore cream cheese, keep this story in mind. Perhaps this moral applies to more than one situation, but it definitely applies to those absent minded people out there (like me,) who do stupid things.

And beware. This post might get cheesy. ;)

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was a middle schooler. And even then I had a strange fetish (an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.  Google it.) for cream cheese. Yum. I used to spread it carefully and thickly on two pieces of bread and take it to school as "a sandwich." Yum again. However, on this one particular school morning I got sick and tired of the cream cheese being too cold to spread on the bread without tearing it, so I threw it in the microwave. Apparently I should have read this wikihow article on How To Soften Cream Cheese beforehand.


 Yeah, it might melt it. Or, ya know, set it on fire.

At the time I really just wanted to microwave the darn cheese and finish making my lunch, so I wasn't really paying attention.  So I opened up a new box of Philadelphia cream cheese, threw the whole unopened thing in the microwave, set for about 30 seconds and pushed start.


Do you see that picture? See how the cream cheese is wrapped in foil?  I threw the whole thing, foil and all, into the microwave.  Even at the time, I knew that putting metal in the microwave was a nono.  But I didn't know what it would do.

Well, this is what it did.  As soon as I pushed start, the microwave lights started flickering on and off as blue bolts of electricity shot from the top of the microwave into the cream cheese.  These bolts of lightning made lighting sounds too.  It sounded like popcorn on steroids.  It was so loud I had to cover my ears while I reached hesitantly toward to the microwave STOP button.  I wasn't sure whether the microwave would electrify me or fry me or something.  Worried my parents would come downstairs and wonder why I was making popcorn at 6:00 AM, I pushed STOP.  The lights in the microwave went off like they usually did.  I slowly opened the door and the lights came on, just like normal.  As soon as the door opened and air entered the microwave, the corners of the package caught on fire like little aluminum foil candles.  I never knew aluminum foil could catch on fire.  I mean, all metal melts, but apparently it can catch on fire too.  I quickly blew out the cream cheese candle, and pulled it out of the microwave.

For being shot through with 1200 watt lighting, the cheese was barely softened.  I would have thought it would melt. You were wrong Wikihow, the cream cheese didn't melt.  It skipped the whole melting stage.  It caught on fire.  

Let this be a lesson to those cream cheese heads out there.  Never microwave metal.  Even when you're not paying attention.