March 09, 2019

Current Thoughts On Life: A Very Clever Title

After several discussions with my best friends and my family, and especially after this trip to Finland... I've realized a few things.  I'm currently in the process of finding myself again. I'm rediscovering who I am as an individual, what makes me happy, and what makes me tick.

After these two trips to Alaska, it really struck me that I'm happiest doing the things I love. Sounds stupid and self explanatory, I know. But really what became of this realization is that I make myself happy. My choices, my beliefs, my actions, my consequences... My path... These are the things that make me happy. And then I looked around. I looked back at some of the things I had, and I realized I've been clinging to what feels safe. It felt safe because it was something I had grown accustomed to. Something that had been there for a long time. And sure, it once made me incredibly happy! But looking around at my future and where I'm headed, it's not the things in my life that make me happy, or that should anyway. It's me.

And sure I sound really full of myself in saying that, but let me go further. This last year I was so in love with my life, my job, and my potential. I found my passion. And I remembered something my family had always told me "you can do anything you set your mind to." On graduating from high school my principal went a step further to tell me I was "a force to be recokoned with." And I am. And I will do what I set my mind to, God willing. But thinking about this in conjunction with my previous statement, it's not anybody else's duty to make you happy. It's not your job to do that for anyone else either. Following that logic is simply foolish...

I was talking to someone recently who has grown closer to me than I ever expected, and I shared one of my favorite quotes:


If we rely on other people to make us happy we become reliant on a system that is not innately stable. Its easy to do this, yes, but people change. People constantly grow and become better (or worse). The people around them shape them in ways they never fully expect. The same is true for ourselves. I can tell you right now that I am almost a completely different person than I was 4 years ago.
Because of this fact it is crucial that we focus on making ourselves whole people rather than relying on others.

This is not to say that we should remove ourselves from relationships and the people we love. These people are there to help us grow, as I said, and they can indeed help us on our paths to happiness. They can add incredible joy to our lives, and they can support us when we are at our weakest. But be careful that you look first to yourself. Be independent, look for the things that make you uncomfortable and grow beyond them. Make yourself independently happy on life's journey or you will be left with nothing when the branch fails beneath you.

I have a lot to consider in this vein lately. I know I still have growth to accomplish. But somehow I know that I'll get there. I've put my mind to it, and, well, I talked about where that will lead me.



This. This is how I want to live my life. What about yours?