Day 3 and Already Sleep Deprived

So, last night something incredibly weird happened.  Again. I distinctly recall that a similar incident occurred last year.

At about 1:15, I decided I must have missed my alarm.  I picked up my phone, looked at the clock, glared at the two alarms I had set for 6:30 and 6:45, and then sighed.  It was time to get up and get dressed.  Now, I wasn't immediately concerned that my roommate wasn't up yet, because she gets up after I do.  So I got dressed, quickly hurried out to our common room, and that was when I got confused.  My other roommate wasn't up yet, the light on my desk was the only light on, and the whole floor was quiet.  But I continued to get ready to go.  Then I realized I left my phone under my pillow and I hurried back into the room for it.  I picked it up, looked at the clock maybe two more times, put it in my pocket and came back out.  But then I stopped because I realized that it wasn't actually 6:45 or 7, and I definitely wasn't going to be late for class.  It was 1:23 in the morning, only two hours after I had gone to sleep, and I was ready for class. Of course I groaned and went straight back to bed.  Oddly enough I went into a very deep sleep after that.

Do not ask me why my brain does this to me.  I wish I could explain it.  All I know is my circadian rhythms are messed up. 

On a different note: when you have 4 classes in a row and you have to walk between them, some problems arise.  While sitting at the front of the class is a great thing for learning purposes, it has the disadvantage of making you the last person to leave the building on your way to your next class. This in turn leads to much delay because people are vexingly slow.  Maybe its best to sit in the middle instead of the front.  I don't know.  I do know I want to go back to bed though.

Also, I found out I made the Dean's List last semester!! :D

Just a Word as School Begins Again

Hello everyone!
I am sorry I have not posted very much lately.  I had it on my to do list to update my blog, but clearly it never happened, even over Christmas break.  I usually consider Christmas break to be relaxing, but this year it was quite the opposite.  Juggling work, family, and a social life is hard within the span of a month.  Anyway, I hope everyone had a warm and wonderful Christmas and I suppose its not too late for me to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

For me at least, I didn't want to go back to school.  I mean I love South Dakota, I love the school, I love my friends, but lets be honest: does anyone ever really want to get back to work after taking a break? That initial motivation to get you rolling is always so hard.  But now I suppose I have no choice.  I'm here, I survived my first day of classes, and I already have a quiz, two homeworks, and a test to look forward to.  Yes, second semester is going to be hard and annoying and stressful, but I'll survive; I always do!  Hopefully I'll have a little bit of time here and there to update my blog this semester, too!

To the seniors of my old high school: best of luck with your theses, you're in the home stretch and I know you'll all do fabulously.  In the end all the hard work and stress and sleepless nights will be worth it, even though it doesn't seem like it right now.

To my fellow freshman and other college people: Its just another semester.  We can do this.  Now lets get down to business. (16 weeks-ish till summer!)

Thanksgiving Thoughts

I don't want you to think that I'm writing this post simply because it is Thanksgiving.  No, I've been writing it for a much longer time, but today just seemed like the prime opportunity to release it.

This thanksgiving I have so many things to be thankful for.  Even though it's been a rough month and I've had some very hard weeks at school, I am definitely thankful, first of all, to be home. And, despite being very worn out from school, I am also thankful for it.  I have been given a great opportunity to learn at one of the top Geology and Mining schools in the country. And even though I get stressed and frustrated, I remind myself what a blessing it really is.

I am thankful for my family, for helping me pay for college and for raising me to be the person I am.  Thank you Mom and Dad for putting up with my crazy antics, my quirks, my weirdness, and my flaws and for teaching me so much about life and how to be a good person.  I would not be where I am without you. I love you guys!!

I am also extremely thankful for my best friend/sister/not-really-my-sister-but-you-know-what-I-mean.  We're so far away, and I've missed you so much!! However, you never fail to make me laugh, even when we're Skyping! (By the way it was hilarious when you fell under your desk). It's a really awesome feeling to be so far away and know that nothing about our friendship will change because of the distance.  It's been so great seeing you again! Those brownies were the best! Gotta love ol' Betty Crocker! ;)  Love ya!

And last but definitely not least, I'm so thankful for my amazing boyfriend.  You give me so much to smile and be happy about every single day. And even when it's been a terrible day, you never fail to bring out the best in me and show me that I am worth so much more.  

Thank you for being you, because you are perfect that way.  Thank you for being strong, sometimes for both of us.  Thank you for being a gentleman and a leader in our relationship. Thank you for always being there for me through thick and thin, for supporting me through everything, for helping me get up when I fall down.  Thank you for teaching me so much about myself, and about life, computers, and math. You inspire me, and you are my role model for so many things.  I am so blessed to have you in my life.  Thank you for being my rock. :) 

I am so thankful for what we have.  Our relationship even makes me thankful for all of the ones which failed in the past. Each of them taught me some aspect of what I was really looking for, and in the end they brought me here. You are everything I could have hoped to find and so much more, and I thank God in my prayers that you are in my life. I love you so much! :)

Finally, I'm thankful for all of my readers! I hope everyone has a wonderful, warm, and safe thanksgiving! Thanks again for reading my blog! Cheers!

Beyond the Blanket

I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was little, I always saw the world and its problems as things that our parents had to deal with. The world was meant for adults, and as children we couldn't even see past the edges of high counters, let alone manage the world's issues.  Being so young, we didn't have responsibilities.  We essentially reported to our superiors, and our superiors governed our lives.  As we grew older we were slowly given more and more things to be responsible of.  First it was dressing ourselves, making our own lunches, then it was driving vehicles and paying for our own things.  But now it is different.  As adults, we are now plunged into an entirely different realm of responsibilities and duties.  Namely, to our families, to our country, and even to the world itself.

When we were children, it wasn't our job to deal with these things. Maybe I took that for granted and started thinking it would never be our job.  But now, suddenly, it is our job.  The world and all of its wars and conflicts are now our burden to bear.  We can't hide under the blanket of childhood carelessness anymore.  Now it is time to grow up; time to emerge.

As we shed the warmth of naivety, the world seems to be a cold and cruel place.  This cannot be the nature of the world.  It is because of the actions of people that the world appears to be this way. It is, sadly, the nature of men toward one another.  And while the duty for our generation to mend this evil has been thrust upon us, we have a choice.  We can cower under our blankets in fear and effectively allow the evil to win, or we can stand up, brace against the cold, and refuse to let it defeat us.

Adulthood: Dreams Becoming Possibilities

I realized something new today.  As we start going to college we go through lots of big transitions.  The transitions of living with other people, living alone, living in a new place, experiencing new kinds of people, getting a taste of the real world without being under the shelter of our parents' wings.  But there's also another, bigger transition we go through.  When we change from being a child to being an adolescent or an adult, we not only experience aging but also a change of mindset.  As children, we live in the 'dream' mindset.  We fantasize about silly things, pretend that we are older, and dream about what we may become when we grow up.  A little further down the road, we start realizing our goals, and the dreams we had when we were younger start to get a little clearer.

But the real transition happens around the time we go to college.  As children we may have known what we 'wanted to be' when we grew up, but it was never really possible to actually achieve this dream.  But, as an adult, we are given the freedom to make our dreams a reality.  It is at this age that we realize what we will become, and we have so many options to make it happen.  Whether we want to get married and start a family, pursue a career to the fullest extent, make beautiful music, or change the world, all of the doors are opened to us.  When we become adults the world is at our fingertips and we are given the option of seizing it. 

The Social Unicorn

There's something I've learned from being at college.  You might say "well, that's why you're there, to learn, right?" Yes, that is true.  But I mean more on the social aspect than the book learning.  Honestly, getting used to the people at college has been the biggest adjustment for me.  Once I came here I was swept away by how many new kinds of people there were.  Everybody here is different.  I know this probably doesn't seem like news to anybody, but to me its very new.  There are so many different kinds of people, types of people I didn't even know could or would actually exist. They're like a social unicorn: I've heard about their existence, but before now it all seemed like a myth or something impossible. But now that I've met this social unicorn I am amazed.

Grounded in Friendship

Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough. Not good enough for my own standards, mainly (I know I tend to be my own worst critic). But then I am reminded by my friends and those that I love that I am always enough for them. Even when I'm under the impression that I can't accomplish whatever task is before me, I can fall back on the realization that these are people who will never leave me if I fail. Their love and their friendship to me does not rely on how well I perform, the kinds of grades I get, or the way I carry myself through life's adversities. Their connection to me is not that superficial, but so much deeper.

So despite feeling inadequate at times, I can (and I hope others of you can relate) rest assured that I have at least accomplished one very important thing: finding wonderful people who see more potential in me than I sometimes see in myself.